Loving You's A Dirty Job
by Annie Coomes
Summary: Rose wanted so much not to love him, but she couldn’t help it. No matter how much it hurt, she would always love him… so she let him break her heart over and over again.


Song by Bonnie Tyler.

Summary: Rose wanted so much not to love him, but she couldn't help it. No matter how much it hurt, she would always love him… so she let him break her heart over and over again.

Loving You's A Dirty Job

_When the sky is falling and you're looking round for somewhere to hide, did you ever call out to someone? Did you ever call out to me?_

Rose sighed as she watched the Doctors brow furrow as he mindlessly flicked through the pages of another book. His face set deep in thought before it creased with laughter, Rose watched as his expression changed as easily as his emotions did. She squeezed her hands and remembered the pain of rejection, of him being so self-assured that he didn't need her…before slowly letting her into his life and his heart. Only she could save him now.

_I've been right, right by your side. There aint nothing but clouds, there aint nothing but clouds in your eyes. Why don't you believe it when you've finally found the truth? You've been drinking for too long from the fountain of youth_

Rose watched as his features changed, in her mind he was still her Doctor…her blue eyed Doctor. The one who was so sure of everything but himself…but he was gone. Rose looked up at her new Doctor and smiled. It was a face that she had no difficulty learning to love.

_Why don't you stop tearing up everyone you need the most? So busy trying to get even you never even try to get close_

Rose bit her lip as she remembered all the times the Doctor had hurt her…when she'd first met a Dalek, he'd been so intent on killing it, he didn't even see the pain in her eyes, the hope as she saw the man she loved again, the longing to throw herself into his arms – but all he could see was revenge. Not her – just revenge. She felt her heart ache.

_I can't explain in a way, doesn't make any sense, to know what it's like. I guess you gotta go through it…it doesn't matter. Loving you's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it._

Rose felt tears sting in her eyes as she remembered the number of times he'd rejected and broken her. Each time for another woman…someone prettier than her, smarter than her…but it still hurt. She wanted so much not to love him, but she couldn't help it. No matter how much it hurt, she would always love him… so she let him break her heart over and over again.

_There were times when we'd never fake it, there were times when we'd always makes it. There were times we'd take it to the limit and we'd never ever leave each other alone. We were flesh and blood and bone. There were times we had it all._

Rose stood up slowly from her chair, flexing her legs as she remembered all the times she spent running with him…running from him. She flexed out each of her fingers remember the feel of his warm hand pressed into hers. She shivered as she squeezed her own hand…it wasn't the same – it was never the same. She dropped herself onto the arm of his chair and removed the glasses from the sleeping Doctor. She closed his book and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

_There were times when we took our chances, there were times we were damn good dancers. I can see right through your soul…there were times we had it all._

She lifted his palm into hers and gently wrapped her finger around his, a thousand memories shot through her, of running, dancing, kissing, hugging, crying and laughing. All with him, all because of him.

_Its been nothing but dreams, nothing but dreams until now. Would you follow your secret desire?_

Rose framed his face and closed her eyes. She remembered the taste of his lips on her skin, she shivered from the memory and blushed from the dreams that raced through her mind.

_You're never gunna see it, you got your head stuck in the sand. It's the land of the free and easy – it's the home of the damned._

Rose shook her head as she knew the Doctor could never reimburse her feelings, she was alone in her love and she knew it by so many things. Madame de Pompadour, the way he distanced himself from Rose, the way he refrained from holding onto her for too long. She knew he could never love her.

_You the only one who's left who's gunna believe all your lies. Can explain it away…doesn't make any sense…I guess you gotta go through it._

Rose traced the lines of his face with her finger tip, she watched as he turned uneasily in his sleep, she gently soothed him with the movement of her fingers. She stood up

'Goodnight Doctor' she whispered as she pressed a kiss to his lips. Running her fingers through his hair she murmured to herself

'Loving you's a dirty job but someone's got to do it'. And so she did for all of eternity. But she would never know of how he cared for her in return, and she would never know…unless…unless in a moment of weakness he let it slip out.

'Rose?' he called out softly...but she would never know.


End file.
